Update: That Didn't Go Exactly as Planned...

Well.

I wrote yesterday about how excited I was for my first day back at school.

I said I was ready.

I said I was motivated.

I said I couldn't wait to start a new year.

And now that I've actually had my first afternoon back...

Let's just say that this was literally the worst first day back at school of my life.

Apparently, though, I'm not the only one feeling this way. From what I've seen, pretty much everyone agrees that this back to schppl has been a complete mess.

The biggest disappointment happened with my friend and me.

At first, we thought we were in the same class. We saw our names and got really excited because, honestly, that was one of the things I was the most nervous about.

But then we found out that we actually weren't in the same class.

And we were both absolutely devastated.

Now, I'm in a class where I basically don't know anyone. Everyone already seems to be in their own little groups, especially groups of girls, but they're not really the kind of people I usually hang out with.

So yes, right now, I'm not going to lie: it's complicated.

But I'm trying to look at things differently.

This year is important, and apparently, everything matters. Every little bit of talking, every comment from a teacher, every little problem can end up being noted in our school record.

So maybe being in a class where I don't have all my friends around me will actually be a good thing.

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise.

I'll still be able to see my friends during breaks, and I also have some of my special classes with some of them. So they're definitely not disappearing from my life just because we're not sitting in the same classroom every day.

And maybe, without my friends constantly next to me, I'll be even more focused and motivated to work.

Because my schedule?

Oh my God.

My schedule is absolutely insane.

Most days, I'm going to be doing 8:30 AM to 5:30 PM.

Basically every day.

Except for one Friday out of two and Wednesdays, where I finish at 12:30 AM one week out of four.

And the breaks aren't exactly making things easier either.

Sometimes, I barely have any time between classes. I can go from an hour and a half of lessons to only thirty minutes of break, and even lunchtime feels incredibly short.

So yes.

Right now, everything feels overwhelming.

I'm disappointed about my class.

I'm stressed about the amount of work.

I'm slightly terrified by my schedule.

And this first day definitely did not go the way I imagined it would.

But I'm trying to remember what I wrote yesterday.

I want things in life.

I have dreams, goals, and a future that I want to build for myself.

And unfortunately, I guess getting there isn't always going to be fun.

Maybe this year won't be the perfect school year I imagined.

Maybe my class won't become my group of best friends.

Maybe my schedule will continue to destroy me.

But I still have my friends. I still have things to look forward to. And I still have the same motivation to work hard and get closer to the life I want.

So, for now, I'm going to try to give this new year a chance.

It's only the first day, after all.

Hopefully, things can only get better from here.

...Right?

Until the next story,

— Sourgirl